Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Illustration by Katy Jones

We hope everyone is safe and staying at home.

At this extraordinary time, it's good see both friends and foes putting aside their differences and coming together for the good of the Kingdom. All the residents of Wiffyville are certainly adhering to the new Royal Rules.

The King has really come into his own of late by managing this whole crisis from the Castle's Great Hall. We're seeing a side of him we haven't seen before. It's inspiring. Thankfully there's plenty of cheese (or brain food as the King calls it) in the larder to keep him going. The King's daily declaration is made from the Castle Tower by Geoffrey the Giraffe.

Guffy and Princess Pumpalot are home schooling – learning all about the history of linoleum. Prentiss the Plumber has agreed to do plumbing work for any local resident free of charge and Cookie Crumble is holding a virtual cooking class.

Malcolm the Mummy's Hardware store in Wiffyville village is presently closed but he's continuing to sell items like nails, screws, keys, chains, hinges, locks, paint pots, brushes, buckets and magnets from his online store.

The Gallery of Modern Fart is also closed but curator Steve The Werewolf has launched a virtual fart gallery with new works by Henry Honker, Alan Trumper and Graham Gusty.

The all-knowing resident ghost, FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) is in daily contact with Wiffyville's Chief Medical Officer. FAQ is learning something new every day!

To keep the Royal Kingdom's spirits up Mole (who is just called Mole) is reciting poetry remotely from his home below ground and the Prisoner who is NOT a Prisoner (He is a member of NAA which is the National Arrow Association) will be presenting online dance classes from Wiffyville Rugby Pitch.

Prince Nastavia and Prince Niceavia have stopped bickering and are working together – presently doing a weekly shop for the older residents of the Kingdom including the Bearded Witch. Even our arch enemies, the Low-Flying Gnomes, have called a truce and are flying in vital medicines to Wiffyville Village.

And the Queen? She is setting a great example by staying indoors. To be fair this is mainly due to the fact the Royal  freezer is crammed full of Brussels Sprouts and Cranberry Sauce ice cream – the Queen's favourite.

Stay Home and Stay Safe.