April Fool: Farts to Power School Generator

A blast from the past!

AN Edinburgh school, after reading the children’s book, Princess Pumpalot: The Farting Princess, has come up with the novel idea to ‘use farts to power the school generator'.

It’s understood one of the science classes has rigged up a hollow cylinder in the toilets to capture everyone’s farts in a hermetically-sealed container. Once enough gas is collected, it feeds directly into a power generator.

Said head teacher of Willowbrae High School, Dr Armitage: “The children are learning a lot about renewable energy, they’re eating a healthier diet, of beans and pulses, and they’re creating their own energy by contributing to the school’s power supply.

“We hope eventually that our template can be run out across the country to the benefit of other schools and communities. At the moment, we probably create enough energy to power one radiator for nearly twenty minutes every day.”

In the school canteen, the lentil and broccoli bake is now a firm favourite.

Author of Princess Pumpalot: The Farting Princess, Robin Mitchell said: “I’m surprised no-one has come up with this idea before. It’s quite brilliant! When you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

“I’m presently writing a new stage show based on the Princess Pumpalot book for the Edinburgh Festival Fringe and I think that fiction is becoming stranger than fact. It chimes with the show’s strong environmental message.”

Scottish Gas spokesperson Gail Windsor said, "There's nothing new about methane power. In 1982, we had a series of nationwide flatulence experiments in this area but no scheme was deemed economically viable.

"Not everyone is supportive of this new venture. One down-side of the experiment has been the odours permeating the local area. Local resident, April Fullerton said, "The whole area is just rank. I support renewable energy, but I'd rather have the lights off than live with this smell."

“You might think this is a poor silly fad,” adds Dr Armitage. “But fart power could be the future, not just here today, gone tomorrow.”

On Saturday 1st April the pupils will receive a European Union Green Energy Award at an Awards Ceremony in Seafield, Edinburgh.